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i want to fly like a bird to the skies, smiling. all these people creating heavy boundaries between me and thin air. i'm chained to this self-loathing but i didn't create it. i am beautiful, i am valuable, i am unique, i am intelligent, i am everything that i can be if you would only stop holding me down. please stop holding me down.

jag har samlat sanningar i högerfickan. jag har minnen kvar från andra liv i strupen. jag har dammråttor samlade i hörnen för jag lever inte längre i rummet med de svarta väggarna, jag har sökt mig utåt verkligheten-

det växer blåklockor där jag vandrar om morgnarna, det doftar gran om mitt hår när jag vaknar. jag är mycket närmre mig själv än på länge, det är vackert.

spring will never dawn on me. or spring will never appear inside my fragile bones like a saviour. i thought spring would awaken me with glance, i though all the vitamins in the sun would light up my face and make me smile again.

happy people aren't beautiful, it's the shadows which scars us that make us so
god damn precious.

i don't know where this all began or if it will ever stop. i know that i am living in something that could be confuzed with reality but it's not reality,
i'm walking on air.