-

and my jaws are hurting from all the nagging, they cannot relax, it's like there's a rope between my brain and my jaw:

i cannot trust you when you say that you want me and i cannot trust myself when i am overpowered by a happy feeling. it's like all logic's gone out the window and all that is left is skepticism.

you don't want me and i was never in love with you and i am not waiting for you to text me and i am not longing to put my head on your chest and i am not fragile and i am not unhappy and i can't believe this is happening again (not).

 

shadows has settled on the place that you love

our minds are troubled by the emptiness

destroy the middle it's a waste of time

from a perfect start, to the finish line

and if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones

cause most of us are breathing through corrupted lungs

 

setting fire to our insides for fun

collecting names of the lovers that went wrong

the lovers that went wrong

 

we are the reckless, we are the wild youth

chasing visions of our futures

one day we'll reveal the truth

that one will die before he gets there

 

and if you're still bleeding you're the lucky ones

cause most of our feeling are dead and they are gone

 

we're setting fire to our insides for fun

collecting pictures of the flood that wrecked our homes

the flood that wrecked this home

 

and you caused this.

you caused this.

you caused it.

 

i've lost it all i'm just a silhouette

a lifeless face that just don't forget

and my eyes are damped from the words you left

ringing in my head

when you broke my chest

ringing in my head

when you broke my chest

 

and if you're in love

then you are the lucky one

cause most of us are bitter over someone

 

setting fire to our insides for fun

to distract our hearts from ever missing them

but i'm forever missing him

 

and you caused it.

and you caused it.

and you caused it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

jag skulle kunna skriva om alla höstens färger. jag skulle kunna skriva om hur varje björklöv faller framför mina fötter där jag går (even leafs fall for you). som om jag vore underbar.

 

alla mina hemligheter ligger som tumörer innanför mitt bröstben och hur gärna jag skulle vilja berätta för dig om allt som är sot och svart och aska och alla gånger jag bett till gud om att få lämna världen-

 

vi är den levande ungdomen, vi är de brinnande hjärtan, de saktmodiga själar, de veka väsen (tried to catch snow flakes to save in a glass bowl but they keep melting in my hand).

 

jag är på väg bort från världen igen och in i mörkret, mina ögon möter inte längre min blick i spegeln.

 

da-dunk, da-dunk. jag hör fortfarande mitt hjärta slå, men vilken betydelse har det? ...

 

simply trying to figure out what it is i am feeling.

bored? restlessness? heartbroken? witchful?

i'm waking up in ten thousand different beds and can never figure out in which i can feel like home.

 

safety. wouldn't that be something. i'm shaking my head for hours trying to breathe my way into myself. the core. the core.